I Miss You Neil

I have four younger brothers.
Some years ago, my brother Neil died of cancer.
I felt a deep sorrow.

I handle grief by painting. When Neil died, I felt so helpless.
He was my younger brother who I always protected, yet there was nothing I could do.
I remember my gram saying “Nicko, death is for the living”, I now understand this.

From my own death experience, it was shown to me, we all come here to learn and help.
And when we are done that is when we leave, still the human part of me feels sorrow.
So, when Neil passed, I grabbed a canvas and started to paint.

This was the first painting of Neils passing and the best. I did several more and felt better each time.
Painting is how I grieve. Painting is how I perceive life.
I paint when I’m happy and when I’m sad.

I do not just want to paint pretty pictures.
Picasso said, “anyone can paint pretty paintings, great artists paint great Ideas.”
I say “I paint feelings.”

Like Picasso I want my work to make people feel it.
My best paintings are the ones that happen right when I feel what’s going on.
I miss you Neil…